An Intro to This Blog
Why The “Joyful” Dad?
I believe that dads get a bad rap for being commanding, absent, and unpleasant - and those are just a few adjectives that may apply. Unlike moms, we are not historically known for our loving demeanor and desire to make deep connections with our kids. Of course, like with all things, this can be both true and untrue for dads. Also, like with all things, the type of dad we are is largely a choice based on a host of factors such as the lives we live, the way we were raised, the way we view the world, and so on. At the very base of my view of being a dad is the idea that I want to encourage joy and excitement for life in my daughter. To be a joyful dad is to be a present, loving, thoughtful, and inspiring dad.
What will be covered on The Joyful Dad?
My objective is to examine the multifaceted journey of fatherhood by exploring the mindset and theory behind how we navigate the things that we encounter. The way we think about our lives is directly linked to the way we live our lives and this holds true for parenthood as well. The way we view our child from moment to moment can change and ultimately impact the way we interact with them. I like to spend time observing and thinking about the ever-changing nature of parenthood and how I react to it.
If I am feeling negatively about something in my day, am I capable of separating that from my interactions with my daughter? What, specifically, makes someone a good dad? What’s the thought process behind choosing to send your baby to daycare? Everything about being a parent is worth our consideration and much of what is written here will reflect that.
How do I explore my mindset as a dad?
I accomplish this through the three practices of meditation, presence, and reflection. For the uninitiated, meditation can seem somewhat mystical (“woo-woo”) but it is the foundational practice I use to hone my ability to stay present. There’s a very real and tangible benefit to meditation beyond the metaphysical things you hear about - you can gain the ability to observe your thoughts. With minimal practice, you will realize that your mind is constantly on autopilot but you have the ability to recognize your patterns of thought and make changes.
Presence builds on what we discover during meditation. As you gain the ability to see your thoughts, you gain the ability to make choices about how to handle them. Rather than buzzing through your day in a cycle of thought and judgement, blindly reacting to any new situation that arises, you are able to quell the chatter and plug into whatever is happening right in front of you.
Reflection is how we can review our progress toward our goals. To know who we are at the beginning and whether we’ve made strides toward who we want to be, we have to reflect.
I understand that all three of these terms are fashionable and I do feel that they have been somewhat overused. I also know that, when properly and honestly employed, they can support you in making observable changes in yourself. The things I write about here will come from the efforts I put into these three practices.